Touhou Valentine's: Touhoulight
by Cssz
Summary: Rule (9) of the Internet: "There is a Touhou version of it. No exceptions". None at all, not even everyone's favourite love story...


My name is Kirisame Marisa.

All my life, I have always wanted a more exciting life; an adventurous one where I could travel this magical land we call Gensokyo and behold with my own eyes, every little thing that underlined this vast land.

But even then, I would like to take a break every once in a while...

Today was the perfect day for it, I thought. I came to the conclusion that I would just take it easy today and just sit back and relax...

At least, that was what I'd intended to do at first, until she came along...

To be honest, it had begun the first thing in the morning, in the very wee hours where I had trouble even keeping myself awake. I was in bed, taking my beauty nap when this unsettling feeling came upon me, as if I was being watched. As I opened my eyes, I saw them; a pair of glowing, red eyes floating in the darkness and a faint grin under the dim moonlight.

"R-RE-REMILIA!?" I exclaimed, shocked upon seeing the young vampire in my house. If she had used the door I would at least- oh wait... I guess this is how Patchy feels when I enter her library, huh? So, wait, is this some kinda payback prank or something? Cuz it ain't amusing, that's for sure, _especially_ when I'm on the receiving end.

"Remilia, what do you want from me?" I asked.

Her grin grew larger, revealing her tiny, vampiric fangs as she replied, "Nothing... I was just watching you sleep... I find it fascinating..."

I gulped as I heard her sick, perverted answer.

"Uhh... Remilia? I'm not really in the mood for any games today, so may I ask that you leave?" I said, as politely as I could. As I've said before, I wanted to take a break from it all, so I'll be keeping my hands off of my good friend Hakkero-san today. But if she leaves me with no choice, I believe I WILL have to resort to him.

She stood there silently without a reply. Moments later, she grinned once again, this time she began slowly approaching my bed. She placed a hand upon my cheek as the cold sensation of a vampire's touch settled in. She leaned in closer and closer, her eyes blazing with lust.

I was somewhat afraid. I've never seen her like this before. My body was trembling like a leaf. I couldn't stop it, no matter how hard I tried. I could not move an inch!

As her face moved closer to mine, her lips seemingly inches away, I let out a loud cry, "REMILIA! THE SUN'S COMING UP SOON!"

Immediately, she stopped.

Phew, looks like the first thing that came to my mind was a good idea after all, huh?

The vampire slowly backed away as her grin turned into a frown.

"Marisa..." she said.

She got back up on her feet as she looked out the window, her eyes watching the sunrise.

"Marisa, I've got something to tell you... I love you."

My jaw dropped when I heard it!

"Wait- W-W-W-What!? Woah, woah, woah, hold it! What'd you just say!?" I stuttered as I withdrew myself to keep a safe distance from the vampire. What has gotten into her suddenly?

"Marisa," she called.

"WHAT?" my reply was as loud as I was shocked.

"Do you know why I always hated the sun?" she asked as her hands reached for the button on her dress. "When vampires bathe under the sunlight..." she continued as she began stripping off her clothes.

"REMILIA! STOP!" I exclaimed. "You will _die_, won't you? Just stop it and relax, okay? I'll let you stay here, just put your clothes back on and we'll talk it out, just don't die right here will y-"

I stopped when she had finally removed every last piece of clothing on her. With the first beams of sunlight through my room window, the vampire began sparkling like a diamond; a truly magnificent sight to behold...

"Marisa..." said Remilia as she pinned me down on the bed. "When we vampires bathe in sunlight, we sparkle, as you can see. To our kind, sparkling like this in front of someone else's eyes is prohibited, and is seen as..."

"As what?" I stupidly asked, despite not caring what her answer was.

"It's a sign of proposal; it is also an act that is only allowed amongst married couples. So now, we are officially married, Marisa Scarlet!"

As she proclaimed her last word, her lips locked onto mine.

...

My eyes shot wide open. Sweat trickled down my face as I panted. I scanned my room and nothing was in sight.

A bad dream? Maybe.

I let out a sigh of relief as I got out of bed. The sun was still nowhere to be seen and showed no signs of appearing anytime soon.

As I left my room to freshen up, I heard a sudden knock on the door, before it came crashing down just a second later.

"What the-"

"Marisa!" exclaimed a familiar voice.

I rushed towards the door, only to be pounced on by a horned beast; its disgusting, sticky saliva dripping all over my pajamas.

Standing outside, just upon the window, I saw Mokou, the resident phoenix. Instinctively, I struggled and screamed for her help, but my pleas went unheard.

The darned phoenix then brought out a pair of sunglasses from her pocket, saying "Looks like Keine..."

She then puts them on before finishing her sentence, "...just got horny..."

"HEY!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, but she just walked away. How dare she!? It was obvious I was in need of help, yet she-

Wait, did she say Keine?

I stopped and looked at the drooling creature. No wonder it seemed familiar.

"Kamishirasawa-sensei?" I asked.

"Marisa, I- I-"

Before she could say a thing, the were-hakutaku teacher -now in full hakutaku form- let out a howl, reverberating throughout the wooden walls of my humble abode.

...

My eyes shot open as I sat up in my nice, warm bed. I wiped the sweat off my forehead as I scanned the room again. Nothing out of place.

Another bad dream? Well this is just stupid...

I was prepared to lie down on my bed, except I was stopped by a figure entering my room; a shirtless man with long, white hair and a pair of horns.

"So how was it, dear? Were my manly were-hakutaku abs good enough for you?"

I let out a loud scream before realising I was alone in my room once again. My heart was racing, I tell you!

I scanned my room once again; this time making sure nothing and no one was around. As my heartbeat finally slowed down I let out a sigh of relief. Yes, this time I'm SURE nobody else was in my room.

I clenched my hand into a fist as I remembered; the corner of my eyes locked upon my television. There was this movie I was watching right before I headed for bed.

That Kourin!

Well okay, granted, he did warn me beforehand that movie had some dream curse placed on it, though it did not seem harmful in any way. But still, that man sold it to me! Even though I was urging him and insisting on buying it, he could've at least talked me out of it! Yet he let me buy it in the end? Besides, it wasn't a very good movie anyway; it's about this girl who falls into a love triangle with this sparkling vampire and this wolfman who runs around shirtless half his entire screentime.

I decided to get some fresh air outside after all that madness. I climbed out of bed and dragged my feet to the door, yawning the whole way. I twisted the doorknob and gave a slight push to open the door...

I then stood there, by the entrance to my room, mortified and not knowing what to do as I was greeted by two bodies lying in a pool of blood. I recognised them both...

Remilia Scarlet, the young, fate-controlling vampire who had caused the Red Mist incident years ago. Beside her was Kamishirasawa Keine, the half youkai teacher in the human village who has the power to hide history. And before their very bodies she stood...

_Alice?_

I wanted to call out to her, but my body -in fear- wouldn't let me. I could only speak out in my own head.

_Alice, what's going on? Did you do all this? Alice, please. Tell me what happened! Alice!_

She turned around to face me with a sinister, spine-chilling smile cut across her blood-stained face

On the walls she had written in their blood, 'HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY MARISA'

_Alice?..._

"Don't worry Marisa... I'll... ahn~... protect you..."


End file.
